My friend Whitney Kanika Fontleroy and I have had a small conversation that I will invite you all to join. Why is it that the friends we have met on the streets are very open with their issues(their ugly or drama) and struggles...?...?.....
and why is it that most middle to upper class folks surpress their DRAMA until they explode??
How would church be different if folks were more honest with their ugly?
7 comments:
HEY FOLDIERS!
its been a while since I've written anything on here and I've missed it!
on the topic of peoples' "UGLY" (I love the way you put this, by the way Nate!)...
I think the reason that the upper class people in the churches suppress all their ugly/bad stuff is because they have so much other stuff! It always seems like people are rushing around doing way too much...
and not ever really taking the time to listen to the answer when they ask another "how are you?" All of the stuff WE THINK we have to do makes us take our focus off our relationship with God and our relationships within the church.
I think its easier for the people who some may call "less fortunate" to describe their problems because they understand that people make mistakes, and they are completely REAL because they understand what its like to be at the lowest lows. When we are in the darkest times in our lives, we feel like we have to hide it and be ashamed of it, because the world expects us to be perfect.
I know that when I've been in my darkest times, I have covered it up by putting on a bright smile... until I finally just BURST! I sometimes wonder how different it would have been if I had not been so proud and just talked to someone before that point. Its really a challenge to let people see a side of you that you feel like no one will ever accept, but its so important to share and support each other with out problems. ('cause we all got uglies)
This is why I think the "less fortunate" are very lucky!!! They can be real about every problem in their lives.
I'm not ever sure that I'm getting to the point that I want to or if I'm just circling around it. I hope I made some kind of sense!
Love you guys and can't wait to see more comments!
after reading your comment Corinne it makes me wonder who the "less fortunate" people really are? Which is more "less fortunate"....A) to be without material possessions or B) to have material possessions and be empty inside.
oooooo
hmmmmmmmmmm
there is still some meat on this bone...keep the comments comin'
nate
hey everyone!! :)
hm hm hmmm...
i think that the way we view "less fortunate" may kind of give us a hint to maybe how unfortunate we are...hmmm that sounds harsh...
i think what i'm trying to say is better displayed in a book that i am currently reading called "The Ultimate Gift" by Jim Stovall. My friend leigh wallace suggested it to me and i think that everyone needs to read it! anyway, at one point in the story, the main character meets a man who is completely broke and doesn't even have enough money to feed his wife and three children a bowl of oatmeal more than a few times a week. (as i was reading i even thought to myself..."oh how unfortunate" hah!) but the man goes on to say..."he felt like the luckiest man on earth and...that he couldn't think of anyone he would want to trade places with".
Isn't that amaaaazing? having said that i think what i was trying to say before is that being as fortunate as we are...we miss out on the real sweet things in life and that makes us unfortunate.
i guess my response doesn't really fit with the "ugly" topic but i was just super psyched when i read your response nate because it's something i've been pondering on lately!
p.s. you really need to read the ultimate gift if you get a chance, i'm looooving it!
well...why cant people be more honest with their UGLY? I think that sometimes the upper middle class can sometimes hide their emotions and pained feelings and problems with "things". They use "things" like enormous amounts of money and cars and clothes and houses and "social lives" to hide behind their worries and make it seem like everything is okay. and WHOA, thats totally not to say that anyone who has money is that way. I know lots of wealthy people who have tremendous hearts and truly care about others and are honest with their lives. And honestly, if you are able to sit in your house and at your computer and READ this blog you are probably in the upper middle class. However, those who are not so fortunate to lives in nice homes and read blogs DO seem more open to share their problems. I really do not know why that is...maybe they want help so they share their stories with anyone who is willing to listen? And they share with anyone who is around because they dont have anyone else to talk to...sometimes people who ARE more fortunate only talk to people who are like them because they don't think they can relate to those who are less fortunate.
i truly wonder if this is making any sense at all...i really need to keep pondering this one nate-o!
Rob Bryan wants to respond...but I think he's chicken. He's in my office....and he's afraid...very afraid. He is impressed by the responses of Corinne, Kara and Katy and feels his manhood would be threatened if he made a lousy response to this question.
pray for Rob
nate
i totally agree with the lovely girls who responded to this post. i'm VERYYYY outgoing and upfront, (yeah, i know, who would've noticed? :]) yet it is still hard for me to admit my many flaws and problems. i think the world makes us feel like we have to be the perfect sibling/parent/spouse/employee/student/athlete/christian/etc. ALL at the same time. we have such busy lives and so many responsibilities that we stretch ourselves soooo thin and we feel that we have to be the best at everything. we want people to see us as perfect and totally together. i KNOW that im a mess. thats for sure. everyone has problems and struggles in their lives. errrybody got that ugly! so we should embrace it and help each other out.
as for the fortunate vs. unfortunate issue-
i most definitely believe that people think if they obtain a huge amount of money and material possesions, they'll be happy. and the fact that they lack love/family/children/jesus in their life, won't matter anymore. our hearts can't be fulfilled with anything but the love of others and our lord! sometimes i forget that. and i "just knowww" that if i get those super adorable red patent leather gucci pumps, i will be content. and honestly. i feel a thousand times better when i stick a dollar in the basket at FOLD than i do when i wear those shoes. yeah. i admitted it. crazy!!!
this blogging thing is opening my eyes to a lot. thanks for that opportunity.
<3
I think that the people of the "upper class" suppress their ugly/bad stuff is because they think that people think they are perfect and better than them just because they have a lot of money. Really they are just like everybody and shouldn't try to act all hunky Dori when they are not because that probally is putting a frown on God's face. That might of not made sense.
Julia
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